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Navigating the Waves of Loss: Understanding the Stages of Grief and the Role of a Therapist
Grief is a universal, yet intensely personal, experience. It is the natural, emotional response to loss—not just the death of a loved one, but also the ending of a relationship, the loss of a job, or a significant change in health or lifestyle. While there is no single "right" way to grieve, understanding the process can offer a compassionate framework for healing.
One of the most well-known models for understanding this journey is the Kübler-Ross model, which outlines five common stages of grief. It is crucial to remember, however, that these are not linear steps one simply completes. Grief is more often a turbulent, non-sequential cycle where you may revisit stages, skip some entirely, or experience multiple at once. This model serves not as a timeline, but as a map of the complex emotions you might encounter.
Grieving the Path Not Taken: Honoring the Ghosts of What Could Have Been
Grief isn’t just reserved for the people we’ve lost or the heartbreaks we’ve endured. Sometimes, it creeps in quietly when we least expect it—when we’re reminiscing about the path we didn’t take. A different job, a city we never moved to, a love we didn’t pursue. These moments can stir up a deep and confusing sadness, one that doesn’t always feel valid. But grieving the path not taken is real, and it deserves our attention.
We’ve all heard the phrase “what if.” It’s the echo of a fork in the road. It’s the job offer we declined because it wasn’t the “safe” choice. It’s the person we loved from afar but never told. It’s the version of ourselves that feels a little lost in the rearview mirror. And while society tells us to keep moving forward, to “let go,” we often forget that mourning isn’t exclusive to tangible loss. Sometimes, we have to mourn who we could’ve been.
Compassion-Focused Therapy: Using Self-Compassion to Quiet Your Inner Critic
What is our inner critic? Our inner critic is that judgemental, demeaning internal voice that makes us question our skills, decisions, and self-worth. It can sound something like “You always mess up,” “Why can’t you do better?” or “You’ll never be good enough” - leading to shame, self-doubt, and decreased confidence.
Where does our inner critic come from? The inner critic draws from negative internalized beliefs we have about ourselves, often formed by early life experiences, relationships with authority figures or trauma.
Evolutionary psychology explains the inner critic as an ancient, adaptive system rooted in our survival needs. This self-critical voice evolved primarily to help us fit in, avoid danger, and promote social cohesion. However, having an excessively chatty inner critic can create psychological distress, showing up as depression, anxiety and social isolation.
Schema Therapy: A Comprehensive Guide
Schema Therapy is a therapeutic approach developed by Jeffrey Young in the 1980s. It is a cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) technique that focuses on identifying and addressing deep-seated, dysfunctional patterns of thought, feeling, and behavior known as "schemas." These schemas are formed early in life and can significantly impact an individual's relationships, career, and overall well-being.
When Sunshine Becomes Shadows: Understanding Summertime Depression
While summer is often associated with sunshine and joy, for some, it can trigger a surprising phenomenon: summer depression. This can be a subtype of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), but with symptoms that manifest in warmer months rather than winter.
4 Steps to Reduce Procrastination and Increase Motivation
If you’re reading this, you may be struggling to reach a goal or complete a task. You’re not alone – lack of motivation is something we all are faced with at some point in our lives. Whether you want to start exercising, quit smoking, do the laundry, or to finish a work project, you can find yourself dragging your feet or even planting your feet firmly and not budging at all.
At some point, the distress of procrastinating becomes greater than the distress of starting the task. It creates a lot of discomfort when one part of us desires to get the task done and another part of us would rather do anything else — this can leave us feeling ambivalent, frustrated, nervous, or useless. Some avoidance is expected at times, but is it recurrent or at a level that creates distress and prevents you from functioning in certain areas of your life?
The Summer Blues
While most people relate seasonal affective disorder with the dark days of winter, summer time can also trigger this disorder. In fact, for many people, the summer months are the most difficult: 10 percent of those diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder suffer symptoms at the brightest time of the year. The summer’s brutal heat, bright light, and long days can contribute to depression for the opposite reasons that the winter does. Like typical SAD, the change of light can affect a person’s circadian rhythm, which may disturb overall health and sleep patterns.
Finding the Good When Things Seem Bad
Most of us, it is safe to assume, have felt some level of impact from the current political and social climate. The seemingly endless news cycles, radio reports, newspaper headlines, social media campaigns, and regular day-to-day interactions with colleagues, friends, and family bring about daily reminders that are hard to avoid. Whether we like it or not, this cycle of negativity can creep into our daily existence, and bring about unwanted stress, anger, worry, defensiveness, and offensiveness.
While many are feeling powerless in the larger context of world events, there are ways you can help yourself to create a bit of peace and quiet in your mind, and allow yourself some space from the noise.
A Rise In Depression Among Teens And Young Adults Could Be Linked To Social Media Use
The number of individuals experiencing symptoms of depression has increased over 50 percent in teens and young adults over the last decade. The amount of social media use has also significantly increased. Could the constant use of social media and devices in general be linked to worse mental health?
What Depression and Anxiety Look Like in Children
Depression and anxiety look very different in children than it does in adults. Often, these behaviors are perceived as strange, bizarre, erratic, or disobedient. Because of this, childhood depression and anxiety is often missed by parents, family, and school faculty.