Working With a Narcissist: Protecting Your Peace at Work
Most of us have encountered challenging personalities in the workplace — but few dynamics are as draining as working with someone who displays narcissistic traits. Whether it’s a boss who takes credit for your work, a coworker who manipulates others for praise, or a teammate who reacts defensively to any feedback, the experience can leave you feeling powerless and emotionally exhausted.
Understanding how to navigate this kind of environment can help you preserve your energy, confidence, and peace of mind.
Recognizing the Signs
A person with narcissistic traits often needs admiration, control, and validation to feel secure. In the workplace, this can look like:
Taking credit for others’ ideas or successes
Dismissing or minimizing others’ contributions
Becoming defensive or angry when challenged
Using charm or flattery to manipulate situations
Creating tension or division within teams
It’s important to remember that you can’t change someone else’s behavior — especially if they aren’t self-aware or open to feedback. But you can change how you respond and protect your boundaries.
Managing the Relationship
Working with a narcissist often means finding the balance between professionalism and self-preservation. A few strategies can help:
Stay grounded in facts. When discussing work, focus on data, deadlines, and specific outcomes. Keep communication concise and neutral to reduce opportunities for manipulation.
Document interactions. If this person tends to distort information or shift blame, keeping records of emails and meetings can protect you.
Avoid taking the bait. Narcissistic personalities often thrive on emotional reactions. If you remain calm and centered, you reduce their power to control the situation.
Set clear boundaries. Politely but firmly define what you will and won’t do. You might say, “I’m happy to discuss this during our scheduled meeting,” or “I’m not available for that request right now.”
Taking Care of Yourself
Constantly managing someone else’s ego can be exhausting. You might start to question your abilities, overthink every interaction, or feel anxious before work. These are signs that the situation is affecting your well-being — and that you deserve support.
Prioritize self-care outside of work: connect with people who value you, engage in activities that refill your energy, and remind yourself that their behavior says more about them than you. Therapy can also be a powerful space to unpack these experiences and develop tools for emotional resilience.
Therapy Can Help
Working with a narcissist can chip away at your confidence and sense of safety over time. In therapy, we can explore the impact of these dynamics, strengthen your boundaries, and help you reconnect with your sense of self. You don’t have to keep absorbing the stress or walking on eggshells.
At Flatiron Mental Health Counseling, we provide a supportive, nonjudgmental space for professionals navigating toxic or high-conflict workplaces. Together, we can help you move from feeling drained and reactive to feeling grounded and empowered — even in challenging environments.
You deserve to feel confident, calm, and in control — no matter who you work with.
By: Alex Smith, MHC-LP